Today we met with Lenah's doctors. We will be taking her off of the ventilator on Friday. I have no idea how she will respond to this. Regardless of the outcome, we will not be putting her back on the ventilator. Ever.
Yesterday, Lenah had been moved to a semi-private room because they had a lot happen in the unit with other patients. One of those patients needed the private room. Today, they moved her back to a private room. Room #7. Seven is my favorite number. This room also has a western exposure and I have seen some amazing sunsets from across the unit through this window. It is a good room. Lenah was bathed in sunlight when we found her in her room after our meeting. For the first time ever. My heart grieves over this.
Please forgive me. I am not ready to share today's photos. I also am not ready for the coming days. I am, I think, ready to let Lenah go. I just know the next few days are going to be the hardest of my life thus far.
I finally looked online at infant caskets today. Never thought I'd be googling that.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
I will be thankful in His giving.
And as unbelievable as it may seem, I will be thankful in His taking away. And not because I feel obligated to.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.